Blessings, beautiful souls,
It is 7h20. I have been awake since 5h. This is a choice because the morning is the only time when I have the energy for a peaceful and productive moment to myself. By the evening, I am depleted. So, solace is found in that pocket between when I wake and when one of my kids wake.
Since then, I have:
- Cleaned, filled, and turned on the perculator
- Let out the hens
- Fed the hens
- Cleaned their roost
- Poured myself a cup of coffee
- Answered emails
- Worked on some pages for the guidebook of my upcoming Spirit Baby oracle deck
- Went to get my son from bed when he called to me
- Made him breakfast
- Made myself breakfast
- Put a load of laundry in the wash
- Boiled eggs for lunch
- Made a lemon cake from scratch
- Planned the meals for the week
- Made a grocery list
- Put the laundry on the rack outside to dry
- Prepped the bottle for when my daughter wakes
- Heard the name “mommy” said 50 times (already)
The invisible load of a mother is simply unseen by others. I don’t think I even recognized it until I laid it out in this list. Most people do not work through a to-do list of that length in their entire day. This was one in under three hours – and the day continues like this, for a mother. By the end of the day, I will have heard “mommy” or “mama” at least 500 times. I am not exaggerating.
In discussions with my uncle and aunt, there was talk about making time to care for myself so that I can properly care for my family, but where can I fit that in? And what does it look like? I am not even sure what I need anymore. I am not even sure what caring for myself might look like, even though it comes so naturally to me to do it for the rest of the world.
I understand that this is just a chapter or just a page in the book, and being needed like this eventually fades away as my children grow older, but I would like to uncover, for my own well-being (and the well-being of my family), what exactly I need right now and where I can pocket that into my life. I did download the app CALM, and a nightly routine is to find something to listen, disconnect, and reconnect with myself, but I know that’s not enough.
Next week, I have an appointment with my spiritual advisor and soul family, Carol, and I hope she can help me tap into what my angels, guides, and Higher Self might be needing from me, right now. Because I can’t seem to find the time to unravel it on my own.
Unrelated, I just got this notification for this website, and I’m so grateful for every one of you here, who has read something of mine:
If you wish to support my work further, have a look at all my books and journals, available here. If you want to work with me as a spiritual healer, check out my services through Seeking Celestial Grace and Awakened Little Souls.
xx C
lifeofcloud 