Love Languages – How a Book Transformed My Relationships

Note: some affiliate links

Have you ever done the Love Languages test? 

It’s based on a book called The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts by Gary Chapman and it’s the ideal tool to better understand how you need to be loved (and how to best love yourself), and, if your partner does it, how they need to be loved. 

There are five types of Love Languages:


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If you’ve ever wondered why so many relationships fail, it’s mostly centered around this Love Language idea. We often love people in the same way as our own love language, but that’s not necessarily the same way your partner desires it. 

By failing to adjust our behaviours, our actions, or our words to suit their Love Language needs, we fail to love them in a way that matters to them. That causes people to feel neglected and then leads to mindless bickering about misunderstanding one another, and a sense of isolation even within the relationship. 

My primary Love Language is Quality Time, and this is accurate because weekends with my husband are the most exciting part of my week! We could even be doing nothing, but so long as we are together, it’s quality time to me. My secondary Love Language is Acts of Service, and the others lag behind by quite a few percentages. 

Now, my husband’s primary Love Language is Physical Touch, and that’s literally tied in the last place for me! That means I have to go out of my own love comfort zone to meet him where it’s meaningful for him. 

This is why it’s a great idea to do the quiz or get your partner to do the quiz, as well! There is even a book for understanding the 5 Love Languages of Children (so you can bond with your children better).

But this isn’t the only amazing book out there to help improve your understanding of yourself and your relationships with others and I always say that in order to love someone else completely, you really need to love yourself unconditionally. 

One amazing book that I wish I had when I was going through that journey is Date Yourself: A Practical Guide to Building Self-Confidence and Learning to Love Who You Are. I rated this one on Goodreads if you want to have a look!


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I’m curious, what’s your Love Language? And how do you like to see it expressed to you? Let me know in the comments, below.

xx C

3 thoughts on “Love Languages – How a Book Transformed My Relationships”

  1. You and I have the same love languages. Another likeness! I recently took the quiz again with my husband when we were chatting about how to best show love to each other. We definitely have really different love languages, but that’s what makes it so special. Learning how to really provide that kind of care and affection to your significant other is so important. This book is amazing and the quiz is too!

    Liked by 1 person

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