At midnight it will be February 2nd, 2017.
At midnight, I will officially have traveled around the sun 29 years.
At midnight, a new ring will form in the centre of this tree.
At midnight, I will breathe life from a body with a new age.
At midnight, I will no longer tell the strangers who ask me, “I’m 28.”
At midnight, it will be my birth-day.
There is no doubt that this year has been the hardest I have ever faced.
– I faced my sexual assailant in court and watched him be acquitted, knowing the Canadian Justice System let me down.
– I suffered heavily with depression during the ordeal, and I overcame it.
– I overcame my PTSD through amazing therapy called EMDR.
– I lost the most important person in my life; my grandma passed away on September 21st.
– I ended a four-year relationship with my common-law partner and best friend.
So, there is no doubt that I am ready for this horrible 28th year to end! Bring on the 29th. Let’s see where it takes me. I’m ready to discover myself. I’m ready to form a beautiful, loving relationship with myself. I’m ready to make this year the best one yet. I’m ready to make this movement around the sun extra special. Watch me do it!
In other news, apologies that I haven’t been writing in here very much lately. I didn’t read anything the whole way through in January (I am seriously ashamed…) so I couldn’t even do a wrap-up. I’ve been using my typewriter to write poetry more often, and that’s been where most of my typing has been happening. I’ll share a couple new pieces here before I add them to my Poetry page. I’ve been inspired by Hemingway as of late, but what else is new? Let me know what you think! I’m writing it as it’s typed; I don’t use the shift key.
i name my typewriter after you
to evoke your spirit in my own fingertips
to touch you in a way that would speak to you
to love you in the only way i know how
and it is with each touch that you
will truly come to know
my very soul
my imprint upon you
will leave you lost
and leave you longing
for another taste of this spirit
i will press upon each of your pleasure points
and i will have you shouting
that you don’t want me to give it up
and i will not stop
and you will be begging
and i’ll press on
harder and harder
and harder and harder
till you tremble
and cry out my name
into the dark of the night
let my skin, damp with pleasure
blur every letter stamped onto this page
i want to forget
i want to forget
i want to forget –
help me forget
mark my words:
i will devour you
like a lioness does her prey
and you will both
cry for me
and regret the day
you let me touch you
be prepared to lose yourself entirely
when i have you
and all experiences prior
will seem small and insignificant in
let these thoughts of me
drip out of each of your pores
drowning the masses
because there is no one else
they do not matter to me
let them all drown
there is a deep intimacy between us
and we have not touched
so imagine the explosiveness
when bones touch bones
when skin meets skin
when we fall deep into
a tangle of arms and legs
i am a fire,
chaos and creation
bravery and courage
loveliness and a mess
all that you feared
and everything you worship