I just finished the book Dis-Connected by Emma Gannon. It was a book I was drawn to as a way to continue my studies into solitude, human connection, rest, and digital fatigue. It was well-written, well-researched, and had tangible advice. Though it wasn’t intended to completely dissuade people from using social media, it helped to validate my decision to stay off of it (I actually ended up going to deactivate my Facebook page, after finishing it). In particular, the discussion about individuality, online personas, and the inauthenticity of our digital selves was the most fascinating – and accurate.
I noticed this heavily in the momstagram universe. How often mothers presented a perfected exterior to their digital community when these were the same mothers struggling behind the scenes; overwhelmed, anxious, neurotic, imperfect family life, etc. But, heaven forbid this raw and authentic internal life is shared on a perfectly curated feed! That’s not what the algorithm wants to see, that’s not what gets your followers.
Gannon writes, “The amount of time I spent online building my brand and growing a community made me forgetful and distracted and ended up taking me away from the person I wanted to be. […] I was focused on growing followers and showcasing a polished exterior. […] I was so addicted to growing my outwardly successful “online self,” feeding the hamster-wheel reward system of online validation, that I had momentarily lost track of the basics of my core being. […] Now, I look at people who spend a lot of time outwardly peacocking and showboating their successes online and pause to question how they are really doing.” (pg. 8)
This is simply the clever way that social media is built. It is not built to sustain your sanity, grow your inner world, and make you better. It’s not even about the “social” aspect at all. It’s about getting that next dopamine hit, performing to be seen and validated as important, and becoming a commodity that is consumed and no longer a real person with a very soul. It is so hard for people to leave behind social media because it’s become so entwined with their identity. They’ve forgotten the language and identity of their soul and have mistaken this mask and performance for who they really are. They have identified with their performance as their authentic Selves and find it difficult to exist separately from it. But this is just an avatar of you – it isn’t really You.
Gannon writes that why we may start in these waters looking for real, authentic connection and community, falling away from that becomes inevitable. “We can use social media for real connection, but that is harder and harder to do when we have masses of people following our every move. We water ourselves down. There is an irony here, that your “authenticity” can be the very reason you gain a massive number of followers, but once there is a following, you can no longer reveal your true authentic self because of too much exposure and you reduce it all down.” (pg. 48) And, “the toxic side of “branding” oneself means we’re taking away our own freedom to change as often as we like. Trying to be “A Certain Type of Person on the Internet” is stopping us from truly connecting with others.” (pg. 73)
Social media trains us to broadcast energy. The soul is designed to receive, process, and emanate naturally – not perform on demand. Presence is not a projection; it’s an inward rootedness, it’s a mindfulness of the Self as a piece of the Collective. When we split ourselves into consumable pieces in digital spaces, we forget what it feels like to exist as a whole, integrated Being. Not to mention that we are not meant to witness this many lives at once. The soul was designed for depth, not endless exposure.
Social media feeds the Ego-Self. It is the dopamine addiction, the zoned-out escape, the external validation. Divine connection, Christ Consciousness, is steady, constant, peaceful, blissful, and internally fulfilling. Spirit doesn’t provide you with temporary bursts of joy among chaos; it creates a continuous stream of happiness. Social media does the opposite to keep you hooked. The more we attune to artificial reward systems, the less sensitive we become to the subtle voice of the soul.
I encourage everyone to let their “online self” dissolve, creating space for the authentic Self to re-emerge unbranded, undefined, and aligned. Away from the algorithm, the soul begins to move like nature again. It lives completely in the moment, and it flows.
Since stepping away, I feel the change in my whole body – physically, mentally, emotionally, and my spirituality has never been more grounded and profound. The peace and the freedom is beyond description; it’s profound and transformative. I really recommend the no social media path to anyone trying to tune into reality and find greater peace and serenity in their lives. I can confirm that my business is still thriving without it, I am not missing out on anything (you can’t miss out on what you don’t see), and no one is missing me (or they would reach out if they did).
There is a quiet kind of liberation in no longer performing, no longer curating, no longer existing to be perceived. In that space, something ancient and true begins to return. You remember who you are without the noise… whole, unfragmented, deeply connected. And from there, life is no longer something you display, but something you fully, peacefully live.
My latest book, Mothering in the Mountains, speaks about this peace in greater depth. It is unfilted, raw, and a truly authentic piece of my spirit. If you have a Goodreads account and a Kindle account based in the US, you can win a digital copy of it by entering THIS GIVEAWAY before April 26th, 2026! Good luck!
If you wish to support my work further, have a look at all my books and journals, available here. If you want to work with me as a spiritual healer, check out my services through Seeking Celestial Grace and Awakened Little Souls.
xx C
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