Mastering Self-Betterment: Strategies for Personal and Spiritual Ascension

Let’s talk about self-betterment.

When I was a teacher, I told my students on the first day of school that if they didn’t leave a better version of themselves than when they came in, they would have wasted their days, and I would have failed as a teacher. Self-betterment and personal growth and improvement are central to a well-lived life. It’s not a one-and-done thing; you need to contribute to your growth and Ascension daily. Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living,” and he wasn’t referring to the whole world; he was referring to the self, examining all your beliefs and questioning all you hold as true.

Someone who is sliding through each day without thinking, “How can I make myself and, in turn, the world better today?” (because your betterment is a ripple that reaches the Collective) is wasting their soul’s potential. Eventually, this should become second nature to folks on a path to Ascension (or even those just wishing to live a well-lived life). But self-betterment is an art, and in this modern world that is truly driven and run by your emotional responses and triggered passions, mastering yourself is harder than ever. Being happy is harder than ever.

That’s not to say that you won’t ever encounter sadness, disturbance, or discomfort; we are human, after all. That’s an aspect of humanity you cannot avoid. But mastering your reaction to this fear is an essential part of self-betterment. Happiness is what follows when you have mastered yourself and put yourself on a path of soul progress.

There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self. – Ernest Hemingway

Self-betterment cannot occur until you’ve narrowed down exactly what in your life is preventing your growth, advancement, and Ascension. You need to take an honest look at your passions, your shortcomings, your character traits that are less-than-ideal, and even the people you surround yourself with.

So, here is my advice – however valuable you may find it to be – on items and changes I’ve made in my life to put me on a path to self-betterment that may, perhaps, inspire you to reflect on yourself a little more transparently.

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Be Honest About Your Passions (Weaknesses)

Passions are your weakness, period. I’m not speaking about soul passions that encourage your joy (which, for me, are reading, journaling, book shop browsing, etc.). I’m talking about human passions, addictive behaviours, and emotionally driven responses that are animalistic or lizard brain reactions at the base of it all. When you don’t have control over your emotions and your emotional reactions, you’re weak. You’re weak literally and weak in character.

Now listen, I fall short. I’m a Leo Moon – I fall real short and often. We are human, after all. Even Jesus threw over the market stalls in the temple in an emotional reaction to what he witnessed happening in God’s house. If an Ascended Master like Yeshua could react from passions, I feel far less guilty about my own. But this doesn’t excuse it, and it certainly does not give justification for not making an effort to fix my passions and recognizing my triggers.

One of the most prominent triggers for me was social media. Endless negative posts put me into a mental, emotional, and spiritual rut. Posts that are literally meant to kick-start your fear and put you into a spiral are everywhere. The constant masks and inauthenticity are infuriating. Social media is the bane to my existence, and yet it was an addiction I struggled to pull myself out of.

I wrestled with using social media consciously and with greater mindfulness and found that I was using it as an excuse, honestly. In reality, it was far better for me to not use it at all. The bad outweighs the good, and while I can’t say I’ll forever be rid of it and won’t use it in some capacity, I am grateful that I have a partner who doesn’t use social media at all and can help me be more aware of my own misuse of this space, which is detrimental to my betterment and soul growth.

Be Honest About Your Relationships

Greek Stoic philosopher Epictetus said, “The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.” Do not mistake uplift as an echo chamber. We do not need to surround ourselves with people who tell us we are perfect and that our ideas require no challenges. We do not need to be a part of friend groups where we are asked to carry their anger and project that onto others. We need to surround ourselves with people who force us to reflect on our thinking and impart wisdom that moves us toward being better people. We need friends who mirror to us where we have gone wrong and encourage us to do better. What is the point of any relationship or bond if it is not one of mutual growth? What is the point of marriage if your partner is not dedicated to your daily growth and betterment (and vice versa)?

As an introvert with social anxiety, I take relationships pretty seriously in order to conserve my energy. According to the book Digital Minimalism, we can only form meaningful relationships with up to 150 people — and even that number makes me anxious (that’s far too much for me). So, how will you mindfully choose who those 150 will be, or if you’re like me, who a fraction of that 150 will be? Well, that’s individual to you, but here’s how I vet my relationships:

• Is this a good person?
• Does this person encourage me to be a better person?
• Does this person challenge me when I need it most?
• Is this relationship an echo chamber or a classroom?
• Is there even give-and-take between us?
• Does this person know I expect and require nothing from them? (And vice versa)
• If people defined me by this friendship, would that be an identity I would be comfortable with?

In honesty, I have many acquaintances, and I have very few really good friends. Those friends I do have make my life (and myself) better.

Be Honest About What You’re Consuming

I mean consuming in the literal and figurative sense. And, once again, this is me sharing what worked for me and not preaching to you to do the same. If this section, in particular, triggers you, it’s time to be honest with yourself about why.

The content we consume feeds our soul. Now, believe me, I am a sucker for True Crime shows where the mind of a murderer is unraveled, and Fantasy shows where dragons burn cities to the ground. Is this “good” in the sense that it is moral and virtuous, no. There are messages of morality and virtue within the content though, but the content isn’t really good . But what we consume does shape us, so if we are going to indulge, it’s best enjoyed in intervals where the rest of the time is filled with something inspiring, wise, or moving.

Even the Stoics would recommend practicing mindfulness in consumption, making conscious choices about what to consume, and ensuring it aligns with one’s values and needs rather than impulsive desires. And that brings me to the food you eat.

Whether you want to admit it or not, consuming animals means you are also consuming their energy. As I’ve said in previous pieces, energy doesn’t die when the body dies, it just changes. That’s the law of physics. So the energy of the animal that was killed for your steak or your fish and chips is being consumed by you in the process, and I can imagine that no animal – even those on “humane farms” – are excited about losing their life to go on your dish. If you choose to eat animals, you must also choose to deal with the energetic consequences of that action.

I went vegetarian (vegan choices when available) in 2015 and after nine years, I have exactly zero regrets and there is nothing I miss about eating meat; most especially not the impact it had on me emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I can tell you with certainty that I am a better human being because of my choice to abstain from eating dead animals. Not because I am superior to you or I am on a virtuous pedestal for my choice, but because I am more spiritually attuned and connected, and thus can make more of an impact for the Collective through this choice.

Be Honest About Your Character

So much of what we believe, how we act, and how we feel about the external work has been passively inherited or projected onto us. Who we think we are is not really who we are, when we get down to the nitty gritty of things. Our behaviour, our opinions, and how we react to the world is usually learned in our youth (toddler to young adult of around 26/27) by our social groups (parents, friends, lovers, etc.). This is a result of our lizard brain; in our tribal days, fitting into our community was essential to our survival so we adapted by taking on the characteristics and preferences of the alpha of our tribe. This is no longer necessary for our survival. We can exist and live a fulfilling life without trying to make other people happy by adopting their preferences as our mask. We don’t need to wear a mask anymore. We don’t need to hide who we really are.

Take an honest look at who you think you are and try and figure out what parts of your identity aren’t really yours at all. We incarnate in a specific family for a reason, and usually that is to help us combat and overcome the learned behaviour we adapt from that family unit.

So, what about yourself isn’t ideal and doesn’t really make you that great of a human being? For me, it was my reactive and snappy personality, my ability to judge and criticize and tease rather than praise, my fear of having an opinion that goes against the masses, and my vulnerability in my youth to hide the true work I needed to do on myself under performative social justice. These were learned behaviours, and I needed to unlearn them to become better — and I did. This is, of course, an ongoing process. It will be ongoing for you, as well.

One big tip to succeed best at this is: stop viewing others and the world outside of you as the problem and start seeing yourself as the problem. Watch how the solutions on being better start to flow in, and watch how fixing yourself begins to fix your entire life.

Be Honest About Your Path

This point ties in with the last point. Many of us follow a path in our lives that was laid out for us by others. This is usually laid out in the best (earthly) intentions, but it forces us to quiet a part of our spirits that whispers to us, this can’t be all there is. Whether this is a path related to who you marry, the career you pursue, or how you spend your money, we must actively be conscious of what in our lives we have chased and acquired because it was wanted or expected by others — but not really wanted by ourselves.

Yes, we live on Earth, a planet that uses monetary currency and transactions with these currencies to survive. That cannot be avoided. We need to be practical about that reality. But it doesn’t mean we have to be unhappy or that we have chained ourselves to a path that we thought would make us happy but later learned was untrue. We can change our minds. We can reflect and change our minds about absolutely everything. It’s a primary reason why I don’t believe in “cancel culture” because, despite what people want you to believe, people can change — and that includes the life path they’ve followed, whether it’s been for the last ten, twenty, or thirty years of their life.

It’s never too late to step outside of yourself and really be honest about how you might be doing or continuing something for others when it really makes you profoundly unhappy. If it makes you unhappy, that’s because your soul is trying to tell you that it’s not the path you’re meant to be walking. Listen to it. You can read more about how I managed to do this for myself in my book, The Transformational Path: How Healing, Unlearning, and Tuning Into Source Helped Me Manifest My Most Abundant Life.

Keep Learning and Growing In Truth

Believe it or not, taking the time to make it all the way down this little essay of mine means you’re contributing to your self-betterment. Taking courses that bring you joy and advance your wisdom in a way that contributes to the advancement of yourself and the Collective makes you a better person. Reading books that expand your mind and your ideas — and even sharing them with others — contributes to your soul growth. Our personal learning must never stop and the moment we get trapped in the Ego idea of, I’ve done enough, I’m learned, and I’m amazing, we’ve failed, fall down the mountain, and need to crawl all the way back up again on our hands and knees. Ego has no place on this path, so don’t let him in if he knocks.

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To be a better person, you don’t need to buy anything, you don’t need to follow anyone’s special path, you don’t need a spiritual healer, you don’t need a better job; you just need the willpower to know and do better and to follow through on that soul calling.

You can change who you are. I am nothing like who I was 5, ten, fifteen, or twenty years ago. Anyone who says they know me but doesn’t know me, personally, as I am today, in this very moment, doesn’t know me at all. I was not ideal before, but I’m so much better now. And I’m continuously walking that path because my betterment is essential to the betterment of my husband, my son, my family unit, my friends, my clients, and eventually the world (Collective).

By failing to dedicate every day to discovering or uncovering a new way that you’ve become a better person, you’re wasting precious moments of this incarnation. Be mindful, be honest, and look at yourself and your life with a lens of betterment and the Truth will reveal itself to you.

So, what changes will you start to make, today? How will you be better?

To learn more about the books and journals I’ve published, have a look at this link and please consider supporting my work. If you want to work with me as a spiritual healer or need some clarity on how to be a better person that is more aligned with your life path, check out my services through Seeking Celestial Grace and Awakened Little Souls.

xx C