An Open Letter of Apology to My Former Students

Ascension requires acknowledgment of wrongdoings, admitting to those wrongdoings, and apologizing for those wrongdoings in order to release and move forward. And so, I am writing here today to apologize to my former students. I failed you as a trusted educator. Let me explain why.

I was a Social Justice Advocate in my twenties, and, unfortunately, I believed that I needed to bring this into the classroom and share it with my students. I was woke before woke was a word – and before I realized that it was a cult that hooked me, sunk me, and had me working to convert others.

Because Wokeism is a cult. I was a member. I can tell you – full stop – that it is a cult. What’s its goal? Convert all to their side and destroy all who do not bend. Believe and think like us or we will ruin your life. Use fear as a tactic to convince people of our goal and message. We must suffer as a whole unit, or we will make you suffer in ways that are far more horrible. That’s a cult, folks. And I was a member of that cult.

Wokeism convinced me that instead of healing and therapy, I needed to carry the anger of others, and their anger was my fault, so I need to feel guilty for that. Why was it my fault? Well, primarily because I am white. That’s reason alone. If you’re a white male, forget it; your guilt is immeasurable, so it’s time to be angry for others.

I brought that anger into the classroom and I shared that anger with my students. I told them they needed to be angry too. And when they asked me why? I shut them down with words like “privilege” and “racism.” Instead of teaching compassion on the grounds of virtue and morality, I was teaching anger on the grounds of destruction being valid and hate being justified. I apologize.

Along with sharing this hate with my students, I failed to teach them about discernment. I failed to show them how the media and how groups manipulate emotions and distort information to suit their agenda. To be fair, I primarily failed to do this because I was being manipulated and swayed by distorted information. I didn’t teach my students about misinformation, disinformation, and, most importantly, propaganda. I didn’t teach them the necessary and important skills to evaluate the messages they were consuming and the fallacies behind fake news.

I didn’t teach them to be intelligent; instead, I taught them to be emotional consumers. What message hurts you the most? Okay; that one must be right. Don’t think about it anymore. Don’t read or listen to anything that goes against that horrid emotion. It wins. I failed my students in that, as well.

I didn’t teach them the power of language or the power of truly understanding words and language before you actually use them or commit to them. Instead, I taught them that the big scary words are the ones you should chant and be against. There was no logical reasoning, no research to understand, and no discernment to dissect. Big scary words = bad guys. Racism. Genocide. Misogyny. Apartheid. Scary = bad = no need to listen to the side that says otherwise. I failed you.

Along with carrying hate and being ruled by emotions, I allowed my students to believe that thinking against the grain means there is something wrong with you. I think this may have led a few down a path of searching for power when feeling powerless due to a loss of identity (or a guilt associated with their identity). For that, I also failed my students.

I didn’t teach them that there is actually more grace, more humility, more strength, and more nobility in standing against the people shouting the loudest and standing up for truth. Instead, I taught them to join the mob and join the screams. Instead of teaching them to think for themselves, I invited them into the arms of a cult that disguises their position of think like us — or else! as “thinking for yourself/the right side of history/the truth/equality.”

I made them believe that progression is linear and that others dictate what that looks like for us. I made them believe we cannot have a say in Truth because we are guilty in some way, shape, or form with our privilege; that Truth is not ours to find, discover, or speak, and instead, we must shout the anger of others and take it on as our own. That is all the “truth” we deserve in life. I didn’t have them question how the loss of Western values and virtues is not advancement, is not progressive, it’s descent into madness and chaos and suffering. I didn’t tell them to rightfully question people who are willing to destroy you and your life and livelihood for not believing and speaking what they believe and speak. I did not tell them that destruction and chaos does not make change; compassion and peace does. I did not tell them the solution to the world’s extensive problems does not come from anger and madness but from centered, calm harmony does. I did not tell them that people do not have a right to make them feel guilty for who they are and their identity and that they don’t need to apologize for who they are or change who they are to suit their anger. I did not tell them that healing, therapy, and focusing on yourself and your betterment as a human being is what really makes the world a better place. Healing. Healing creates real change. Healing exposes real truths.

I failed my students.

I once read that you should never join a group that asks you to carry their anger along with them because that makes them a cult. I was a member of that cult, and I invited my students to join me in it (unknowingly, of course). And now I am witness to the result of that failure; so many great minds completely lost to the chaos of this cult.

And so, I am apologizing for that failure. It took healing, unlearning, and tuning into something greater than myself (Source/God) to truly wake up and be woke to Truth – with a Capital T. Universal Truth. Not Collective chaos and anger. TRUTH.

I can only hope that those I failed will soon wake up, as well.

xx C