At the foundation of our relationships, essentially, our romantic partnerships should make us better. That is their Divine purpose: a union that accelerates your growth and Ascension. If your romantic partner is not adding to your Christ Consciousness and bringing you higher, what, ultimately, is the purpose? Why be with someone at all if they aren’t making you a better version of yourself, each day?
But too many people mistake being better with conforming to how their partner wants them to be. These are not one and the same. Becoming the perfect picture that your partner desires is not related to the perfection of your spirit but relates to catering to your partner’s worldly needs and expectations.
I have seen people drop their convictions for their partners.
I have watched people give up passionate causes and habits to make life easier for their partners. I have seen people fall into religious practices that please their partners while abandoning their spiritual joys. I have seen people adopt their partner’s mentality about a subject to avoid confrontation. I have seen people put their dreams and their desires on hold for the comfort of their partner. I have witnessed people (mostly women!) drop who they are and everything they stood for prior to this partnership just to become a more comfortable mold of a human being for their partner.
Changing for the better is one thing. Gaining new passions and interests is normal and healthy. But to completely abandon your identity and existence and transform it to be more adaptable and comfortable for your partner… Well then, quite frankly, who were you really? Who are you, really?
A person without an identity that they are unapologetically proud of and rooted firmly in is a person with no identity at all. A person willing to bend to the desires of their partner and be exactly what their partner wants them to be is a person who will be, unfortunately, forever lost in this world, never knowing whether their successes and achievements are truly their wants and their joys, or if they are just living according to the joys most desired by their lover.
My convictions that I would never give up for my love (and my husband would never ask me to):
– My spirituality and diverse and passionate spiritual practices
– My spiritual business
– My vegetarianism and subsequent love of animals
– My dreams of being a writer and having a published book (it’s in the making!)
– My love of tattoos and tattoos as a form of self-expression and memory keeping
– My love (and collecting) of books which I tie to wisdom and consistent personal growth
– My general love of continuing education as a form of self-growth
– My centrist political beliefs
– My mindfulness approach to raising animals and eventually children
Ask yourself if there have been sacrifices you’ve made for your partner that were actually beneficial to your growth and betterment, or if they were convictions you abandoned to bring them joy. And then ask yourself how you will reclaim your identity.