Years Prior

Hello there,

It’s hard to believe that back in 2010, I was telling Ian (my boyfriend at the time and my best friend at this time) that I didn’t want to go to Paris. We were trying to decide on a halfway stop between our Italy trip and our stop in Switzerland and I was protesting: I hate the food, I hate the people, nothing about this city excites me or intrigues me. But we decided to take the opportunity anyway because the flight and hotel were cheap.

Boy, am I glad we did.

It was love at first sight. It was adoration at first bike ride through the night lights. It was an instant obsession and easily the best part of our whole trip. That was the start of this love affair. It was then that I began to dream of calling Paris home.

And so now the opportunity has arisen and I’m so thrilled (as you’ve already read) but I’m also met with the reality of a few things:

– My partner will not be staying there with me, and long distance relationships are no strength of mine, but for him, I want to make it work. A year will surely fly by but I know there will be nights that it hits me harder than others. My animals love him and will feel the loss, too. But I know if I don’t try Paris, if I stay back for love, I’ll resent him through no fault of his own. So I’m trying not to let sadness be all we feel for the next six months.

– Apartment hunting is an interesting endeavor. I’m tempted by so many places (some cubes based solely on their location – views of the Seine!!) and turned off by a handful of (the cost) of others. I was intending to use websites catered to foreign young professionals and just take a risk and book, but my dad stressed that it’s not a vacation for a week and it’s worth the trip over to check out the space. And so now I’m just as excited about a Paris vacation (seul!) in March!

– Paper work is insane.

– Finding a full time position is simply impossible, despite my family hoping I might line that up for myself. Everything is part-time. So I’ve just got to get a few jobs under my belt and balance them accordingly in a way that gets me in a comfortable position financially, and also doesn’t overload my enjoyment of the city. I’m totally okay with being broke in Paris. 100% okay.

– The thing that terrifies me the most? Bringing my pets over. There are lots of pet-friendly apartments in Paris and pet rules are “lax” for tenants, but the thought of my pets in cargo (pooping themselves on a 7 hour flight) hurts my heart!

Okay, I should go to bed. I’m just struggling with my conflicting feelings at the moment and felt the need to write… Heartbreak, absolute excitement, fear, thrills, anxiety, the feeling that overcomes you when dreams come true… Lots of things bubbling up inside me.

Goodnight!

xo C

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