I’m not one of those people who can just sit still. That just isn’t me. And one of the many things that keeps me going is the idea of escape. And the fact that I’m immersing myself in Tolkien as of late fits perfectly with this wanderlust urge of mine. ‘Not all those who wander are lost,’ he wrote, and this reigns true. I am not lost. I just know there is more out there that can make me happy, and why not find that happiness?
I went to a medium a while back who saw me in the countryside of France rather than Paris, and it’s not as if that hasn’t been an option in my mind. Prices are more reasonable, I’d have mountains in my backyard (what a dream), and I’d be moments away from the city that owns my heart. My father was born in a town that was literally named, ‘Foot of Mulera’ (which is the name of the alps/mountain you could see). Perhaps it is that ancestral connection which draws me back to countryside and mountains (but certainly not the crap town of Piedimulera, let’s get that straight right now!).
I have always been drawn to small homes which is why the idea of living in a Parisian apartment doesn’t scare me. I don’t equate small with cramped but with cozy. I don’t think studio living is tacky, it’s homey. This has also lead to the appeal of small cabins, which I’m sure everyone has fantasized about at one point or another. As a bookworm introvert with social anxiety, the isolation of a cabin in the woods doesn’t cause me to hyperventilate at the thought of loneliness, but I relish in the idea of that kind of seclusion.
And you may be thinking, “But Claudia, you like things!” and yeah, I do, “So how could you possibly make it all fit in your house!?” I also recognize that less is more, and most of the things I treasure are secondhand, either purchased from a thrift shop or given to me as a hand-me-down (my father’s childhood briefcase, for example). A long while ago, I wrote about what I would bring with me when I went to Paris because shipping goods are very expensive. To sum it up, the items of most importance to me are: my books, perfume, records, and a few thrifted and fabulous pieces of decor. Just imagine me living in a Hobbit Hole and you can picture everything of importance that I would have with me!
Really, I want three things: mountains, water, and a short and inexpensive train ride away from Paris. Is that too much to ask!?
I’ve been dreaming away on this TUMBLR page and I wonder if you care to join me. You may find a cabin that also calls to you! I really don’t think a life lived in Hamilton Ontario is what will make me happy (or anywhere in the GTA for that matter), and I think living somewhere that feels like “home” is very important. I understand that many people associate secluded with impractical, but only if your life is work and only work. To me, it is most practical to feed the soul.
If you browse the Tumblr I linked you’ll see that majority of the photos are sourced from Western locations. The Western world is not synonymous with ‘home’ for me because it comes with a mindset that your purpose in life is work and work alone. You work until you die. These homes are “second homes” and you better work hard to be able to get one. You don’t live in these because living is working.
I need to live, to truly live, and living to me is not synonymous with working until I die (but don’t get me wrong – I love to work and keep busy, I just don’t love the thought of doing it to survive).
Blah, I could go on and on. I’m a dreamer and that’s what I do. I’ve had this TUMBLR page open in a new tab for days now and I don’t plan on closing it anytime soon. I will keep on dreaming. In the meantime, I’ll think of ways to make this home feel a little more like a cabin and a little less like a cookie-cutter home on a cookie-cutter street in a store-filled city packed with blue collared white men who work, work, work. Lord of the Rings + Hobbit are really helping in this dreaming because it’s fantastical and descriptive in it’s wonder, so I can imagine myself as an elf running through Lothlorien…
I’ll be free from this one day, mark my words.