Returning Home: A Spiritual and Emotional Reset After My Canadian Summer

After (more than) two beautiful weeks in Canada, I have returned: to my mountains, to my slow morning practice, to writing in this space. There is a lot I want to navigate, so bear with me as we jump around various thoughts and topics, this blog.

First, let me begin by saying that the energy of this trip was a completely different one from that of my many visits back to Canada prior. Perhaps it is the fact that it was my first time in Canada in the summer in five years, and there is more to do and more to feel. People are generally in a better mood. The sky is brighter, the mood is lighter, events are all around; it really does feel like the home I would talk about to others, unaware of the mysteries Canada has to offer.

But maybe the energy was different because this trip was a profoundly healing trip. As you aware aware, I don’t believe in coincidences and know synchronicities from the Universe to be intentional (little “signs” if you will). Back in January of 2024, Mary, my beautiful soul family and friend, owner of Akasha’s Den in Oakville (a haven, if you haven’t visited) contacted me, to book an appointment with my spiritual advisor, mentor, and friend, Carol Righton, which is normally done over Video Chat. The unfortunate part of this video chat accommodation is that I don’t get to experience the beautiful sound healing segment of her services. I booked for a few days after my son’s second birthday, as I always do. This vacation, planned in June, fell perfectly upon the date of my appointment with Carol allowing me to go in-person, for the first time since January 2019 (after meeting Jordan).

Not only that, but the appointment aligned – “coincidentally” – with the Full Moon in Aquarius; my Sun Sign. All of these beautiful things were right in the smack-dab center of our vacation, creating a true portal of extensive healing — and closing.

Yes, I feel like I closed many doors on this trip. Not with regards to closing myself off to Canada, but to closing the energetic and karmic ties that I had with her. It seems as though whatever remained that was keeping me tied there (in a negative way) has been cut, and I was able to experience her through healed eyes, with the wonder of an inner child, and with the joy of a true vacation experience. It wasn’t “home” anymore, this time around; it wasn’t exhausting, it was fun. It was a chance to open the doors of her beauty to my son and let him play in it, and it was a chance to let go and walk onwards.

Everything I ever wanted from Canada in my thirty years of living on her lands was given to me this trip. I actually loved Canada this time, because I could see her with a more honest, healed lens, and acknowledge how she served me, why I chose her for this journey, and where it was time to let her go for good. This trip was a portal of profound healing and all the synchroncity of the timing, the healing of Carol, and my experience during the past 16 days contributed to that.

That being said, a healed lens isn’t rose-coloured, and there were a few parts of Canada (or North America, in general), that spiritually shifted me and is worth talking about.

First, as a former Special Education Teacher (promoted to Administration, before I stepped down from the role), the increase of visible low and high functioning autism in children in Canada is concerning to me. From a spiritual perspective, I am very much aware that the spirits of autistic children are high-vibrational, empathetic, usually older spirits, in an “incompatible” low-energy (or simply unable to contain the energy of) body. But no one seems to be asking why this is happening so frequently, and why it is happening predominantly in North America.

What about these bodies or this land is causing this shift? And why is it showing up in children quite later (around 7-10 years) rather than early on? Is it the food being eaten? Is it the nourishment in-utero impacting the body-spirit compatibility later on? Is it the micro plastics in the water? Is it the chemical composition of the land caused by the Industrial Revolution in North America that is only releasing into plants and agriculture, now (which differs from Europe, because, as my SIL, a toxicologist shared with me, Europe used the materials they already had, North America created their own chemical smorgasbords and invented their own industrial compositions)? Is it the screen exposure (as I saw more cell-phone holding children in North America than I see in Europe)? Is it the preservatives or hormones in the food, the sugar, the corn syrups?

What is it, and why is no one talking about what is causing it? Why are people accepting this as their reality when they should be asking their government, why is this happening?

These are questions I asked myself about a lot of my experience in Canada. Including the rising cost of real estate and rentals, and the absolutely asinine traffic on the roads. Why is no one talking about it, and why are people accepting this as their reality when they should be asking their government, why is this happening?

Food costs are still much lower in Canada. As are the cost of clothes, entertainment, and restaurants. My husband and I were both very shocked by the difference, but we also noticed something: it increases your desire to spend. The commercialism in Canada is insane. This is another reality that people just accept, and no one seemed to be working — everyone always seemed to be out shopping, eating at restaurants, or consuming entertainment despite complaining about living paycheque to paycheque or the absurdity of inflation.

Perhaps people are failing to realize that consumption is intended to be a distraction. It’s so obvious by the way shopping malls and stores are set up; shopping, in North America, is meant to be an experience – and it is meant to be consumed quickly, without second thought. This doesn’t exist in Europe. Natural wonders, museums, and sitting at a restaurant with friends or family for 3 hours is meant to be an experience. In Canada, it’s consume and do it fast. America is no different, in this respect. But no one seems to be asking why that has to be their reality.

If you spend without second thought, consume your food at the restaurant without a moment to pause and enjoy the company, you get a very quick neurological fix that is much like snorting cocaine. A high that will keep you satiated for 30 minutes until you come to the next reality low and want to consume again. But no one seems to be asking why the government and the industry and institutions have created a world where this has to be your reality.

People aren’t spending on things that matter – personal healing, spiritual goods that elevate that healing, needs – they’re just spending on wants, and I got caught in the cyclone while in Canada as well. I don’t shop a lot here in Europe, unless it’s for my son, but very barely do I spend without contemplating on something for 48 hours for myself. In North America, the consumption bug bit me. But that’s how commercial spaces are set up to be! Let this nourish you and don’t ask questions; and when you wonder why you’re still unhappy, don’t ask questions.

And Canadians prioritize convenience; things must be done quick, things must be processed fast, and the world needs to bend to your every whim. Perhaps that’s why young folks in Canada feel so entitled; they grew up in the age of convenience with technology, so they believe the world needs to cater to their every crazy idea, position, and opinion. That’s not how the world works. That’s just another arm of commercial consumption. Patience is a virtue for a reason; convenience just satiates distraction. The faster you get what you want, the less questions you ask.

And that brings me to my next point: why are people accepting unhappiness as a normal state of being, and why are mental illnesses and irregular states of being glamourized as normal and even fashionable? There is comfort in being sad, even Kurt Cobain sang about it, but it isn’t a normal, harmonized, or balanced state of being. Why are so many North Americans using this irregular state of being as a checklist of “hip” and “cool”? Why do social media influencers in North America glamourize being “unbalanced” (“bothered” “depressed” “anxious” etc.) as being fashionable? Why would anyone want to stay in that state of being and feel it is normal? And why aren’t people asking questions about why it seems to be way more prominent in North America? And why are so many people striving for external acknowledgment of “uniqueness” and “special-ness” when, internally, we are all equal (essences of the I AM) and, at the root of it, it’s an illusion and doesn’t matter?

So many Canadians are unhappy, you can see it on their face, but why isn’t anyone asking why that is and chasing feeling joy again? If you aren’t finding it in a shopping mall, maybe you should start asking why you were told (lied to) about it being there. If your work and your commute to work and the fact that all you seem to be doing is working to live is bringing you down, maybe you should begin to ask why you’ve accepted this as your only possible reality.

North America is a new planet where many are living in a perpetual state of Ego, fear, and performance, and it’s an exhausting energy to stay in (and it will consume you if you stay in it for too long). But the power of energy is that is can be shifted; you don’t need to accept this as your reality and by seeking, healing, and transforming your dissatisfaction into authentic joy, you can impact the land. You are a not a victim to the land you live on – you chose it with a purpose. Most likely to overcome the stagnant energy and move through the lies you’ve been sold, aligning to a true purpose and a soul path. Why are people accepting this illusion as a comfortable reality?

Another thing I noticed is that something dark has happened to Hamilton, Ontario. It’s as if there is a bubble around it and I could not energetically cross it safely. It was truly as though there was a line and it all changes. I refused to go into Hamilton – my spirit refused. I went to Dundas, drove through Ancaster, even moved through Stoney Creek and didn’t feel what I felt at the line where it becomes Hamilton. There is something dark in that city, and I want nothing to do with it ever again. It felt ugly, it felt like a sticky black goo that would swallow you if you stayed there longer than you need to. It was gross, and that chapter is permanently closed; all energetic and karmic ties there released.

All that being said, there was an energetic piece of Canada this time around that was a bit more difficult to release and until I realized I wasn’t releasing it at all, I was a little sad about letting it go. It was no longer about escaping, running away, or abandoning a part of who I was. This time I was able to recognize that the separate-ness I wanted from Canada was an illusion – it’s all an illusion. I AM Canada. Because at its essence is the energy of Love which is God, and I am the same. Within that stillness, I found peace. And then, with that, I was ready to go back home.

The only thing that is difficult for me is taking my son away from what was Awoken in him during Canada during this trip: the joy I tell everyone to chase. The heart-centered explosion of Love and happiness that ripples onto everything around you. And that was due to my family. My son is a healer, and he heals when he is in Canada and is nourished by this healing through an outpouring of Love. The energetic exchange is unmatched because of the magnitude of Love he receives. There is some guilt I have as a mother to take him away from that, to pull him from a circle where you can see and feel that he is at his peak. But that will be his journey to navigate by choice, if he wishes, when he is old enough to do so. For now, I know that my husband and I are creating a love-filled present in France for him, and that he will uncover fulfilling joy here, too.

Now, it’s time to fall back into old routine but with new, healed understanding. It’s time to sit and write, to tune in and heal others (I am booking my services for the weeks ahead!), and to organize all we’ve brought back from Canada. I am excited for the August heat to dissipate and the September mood to set in. I am clearing my space and setting up the home for energetic success. And I am looking forward to the next reunion I have with Canada, or just pieces of her, whenever that may be.

Along with all that, I am giving thanks and extending gratitude to Source for the life we are building here, in France on the Swiss border. Thanks that I am able to stay home with my son and pursue my modalities of healing and writing. Gratitude that I am not pulled into a false sense of joy through consumption on these lands. Thanks that when I do consume, I am not rushed and am able to do it more consciously and mindfully. Thanks that the clear mountain air and crystal clear Alpine waters nourish me. That the food I am eating is seasonal and free from excessive sugar, from corn syrup, from preservatives and hormones. Gratitude that I am living somewhere that prioritizes taking life slow, a work/life balance, and the honour of history, arts, literature, and culture. Gratitude that a life in Canada led me to these lands, and helped me create the most beautiful life.

I know there is far more that I wanted to share, but jetlag is making me rather sleepy. Perhaps when it all comes back to me, there will be another chapter for this Canada adventure. In the meantime, it’s until next time, Canada.

If you want to support my work, please check out my books and journals. If you want to work with me as a spiritual healer, check out my services through Seeking Celestial Grace and Awakened Little Souls.

xx C