The Ultimate Guide to Soulmates: Categories and Insights From a Clairaudient Medium

Alright folks, let’s dive into a topic that always seems to be on everyone’s lips: soulmates. In particular, I’d like to give you a more clear definition of your various soulmates and how they are grouped in your life experience. Let’s dive in.

You Have More Than One Soulmate

Newsflash: soulmate isn’t singular – you have many soulmates. In fact, some people have reported through past life regressions having recognized almost 100 of their present-day acquaintances in various past lives. But even that, I would say, is an exaggeration, and I wouldn’t categorize all familiar souls as soulmates.

The wisdom I will be sharing with you about soulmates stems from my experience as a clairaudient medium, through my sessions with clients and my information downloads. In addition, I will be combining my knowledge with the information I have collected through my endless reading about past lives, especially the work of Dr. Brian Weiss and Dr. Michael Newton. While we may have different terms for our understanding of soulmates, Truth – with a capital T – is universal, and you may find overlap in what we share.

By this point, you must be thinking, well of course, we have teacher soulmates, friend soulmates, a romantic soulmate, but that’s not quite on the money — at least not from my experience through connection and what I have read by others, either. That’s because teacher, friend, romantic, and family soulmates can overlap; a friend could be a teacher, a friend in one life can become a lover in another, a sister in the next, a boss in a third, etc..

So, let me break down the categories with soulmates as I’ve come to know them and also share some learnings I’ve picked up along the way.

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Soulmate Categories

DIVINE SOULMATES

We all have one primary soulmate which I have always called our Divine Soulmate. This is not the same as a Twin Flame; I will talk about Twin Flames later on. Divine Soulmates are our counterparts in the aether. We “mate” with them in numerous lifetimes. In most of these lifetimes, they return hoping to be our partners. In some lifetimes they may return as a family member or a friend – usually a friend we are unbelievably drawn to and find hard to resist. And in some of these lifetimes, we aren’t ready for them or they aren’t ready for us and it doesn’t work out.

Divine Soulmates are truly the ones who encourage us to be our very best selves and to do our most profound amount of growth. In my experience, when you meet a Divine Soulmate, absolutely everything in you is screaming, and not just with desire. You know them immediately without truly knowing how. You feel instantly connected and drawn into their energetic beam and you feel safe within its embrace. When people meet someone and say, “This is the person I’m going to marry,” that’s usually a soul understanding that you’ve encountered your Divine Soulmate.

Newton supports the same conclusions, writing, “A primary, or principal soulmate is frequently in our life as a closely bonded partner. This partnership may be our spouse, brother or sister, a best friend, or occasionally a parent. No other soul is more important to us than a primary soulmate and when my subjects describe lives with these souls as their mates most will say their existence is enriched beyond measure. One of the greatest motivations for souls to incarnate is the opportunity for expression in physical form. This is certainly an attraction for primary soulmates. They may change genders from life to life together if they are more advanced souls. The average soul usually chooses one gender over another about 75 percent of the time. “

Our primary soulmates do not incarnate in every single lifetime. And we don’t always end up even being partnered with or marrying our primary soulmates even if they choose to incarnate at the same time as you. Sometimes, we are meant to learn a lesson on our own, and our primary soulmate stays in the aether. Sometimes, we take a different path and end up married to another soulmate we decided to learn with (and miss the opportunity to be with our Divine Soulmate). We can have perfectly content lives without our Divine Soulmate, but we do our best learning with our Divine Soulmate in our lives.

Dr. Michael Newton writes this of a client and their marriage, “We can see that Ruth’s primary soulmate in this life is her husband. In Ruth’s last life, this soul was her best friend, and in the life before, her wife when she was a male. These primary soulmates have mated on a fairly regular basis for some 7,000 years since their first life together. […] [Another] soul volunteered to be Ruth’s husband in the last century as a change of pace for her. During that life, Ruth’s primary soulmate chose the role of a male friend. They were so drawn to each other they had an affair that almost destroyed Ruth’s marriage with Andy. She finally realized in this past life that Andy, an uncustomary mate to be sure, was a person who opened her mind in a relaxed way. Although not a great love match, Ruth found tolerance and playfulness with Andy as her husband in the nineteenth century. Meanwhile, her primary soulmate was coping with a new challenge of being married to someone else whose character was much more confrontative than Ruth’s. I don’t wish to leave the impression that not being married to your primary soulmate is a formula for discontent. As a matter of fact, I have had clients who have deliberately alternated mates in a series of lives with three or four souls from their inner circle to meet certain challenges. Although the souls of Ruth and Andy tried this for the first time in the nineteenth century, the results were mostly positive.”

Through my clairaudient mediumship work, I am told if folks are with their Divine Soulmate or not, but I’ll never tell them unless they ask or it’s valuable to them as they go through a relationship transition. I have had clients whose Divine Soulmates stayed in the aether and sent other love matches for them, I’ve had people married to soulmates but not Divine Soulmates, and I’ve known couples who were definitely one another’s primary soulmates.

Jordan is my Divine Soulmate; I knew the minute I saw him and confirmed it spiritually within 20 minutes of talking to him. I told many people the next day that I had found my (Divine) soulmate. Everything settled in me, and I knew I had found a piece of home. That’s what finding a Divine Soulmate feels like. When it comes to our Divine Soulmate, you’re usually given insight into “how to find them” which is what gives that love at first sight meeting. While I never have really had a “type,” I was always drawn to big hands and honey eyes. Jordan always said he would find a woman who was foreign, with dark hair, light eyes, and tattoos. He clearly took notes during his lesson!

That being said, our Divine Soulmates are not always rainbows and butterflies. In Dr. Brian Weiss’s books, he mentioned how these Divine Soulmates cheated on one another, killed one another, and more. Sometimes we just aren’t ready to be with our Divine Soulmate. Jordan killed me in one of our earliest lifetimes together, too! Newton writes, “There are many tests wrapped in the package of love. Mixed into those lives where we have had a long and happy life with a soulmate are those lives where we have destroyed the relationship or been devastated by the actions of our soulmate toward us. In the difficult lives with soulmates something stood in the way of an acceptance of love. Being with soulmates can bring joy and pain, but we learn from both. Always, there are karmic reasons behind the serious events involving relationships in our lives. I had a client, called Valerie, who lived the life of a beautiful woman in China two centuries ago. In that life she rejected her primary soul-mate, the man she most cared about, because he argued with her and refused to feed her vanity while others did so. “Besides,” Valerie told me in trance, “he was so ungainly and rough-looking I was embarrassed to be seen with him because of what others might think. Out of pride, spite and feelings that I was being taken for granted, I married a handsome man who catered to my whims. I lost the happiness that could have been mine.”

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SOUL FAMILY SOULMATES FROM OUR SOUL GROUP

Our soul family is not necessarily our earth family. In fact, I have found that most people in our earth family are in different soul groups (higher or lower than us) but we have chosen one another to help our spiritual advancement or help the advancement of a particular soul; I will speak more to this later. I have found that our soul group are souls at the same stage of learning as us and who play an important part in our earthly experience and lesson learning.

Our soul family feels like our real family and they just seem to understand us and jive with us. There is a mutual amount of shared learning between two people in the same soul group, a kind of give-and-take with different knowledge and wisdom without competition or envy. There is encouragement to be better and to have the most full and realized earthly experience. You can be mirrors to one another and the love you have for them is unexplainable (but not romantic at all).

I believe my former friend M was part of my soul family in my soul group (miss you, M).

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SOULMATES FROM OTHER SOUL GROUPS

There are specific people we will reincarnate with many times, but, in the aether, they’re located in another soul group. Soul groups are specific to where we are at our stage in our learning, but some souls may have to go “down” to a lower group following a difficult life, or others may go “up” and enter into new soul groups following a truly Ascended life. Many members of our earthly family are soulmates from other soul groups. Some of our friends might also be soulmates from other soul groups. Our Divine Soulmate might also be in a different soul group if you’re at different stages of learning.

Netwon refers to these soulmates as companions, stating, “Our primary soulmate is our eternal partner but we have other souls in our primary cluster group who can be called soulmates. Essentially, they are our soul companions. These souls have differences in character and a variety of talents which complement each other, as my case histories illustrate. Within this cluster group there is usually an inner circle of souls who are especially close to us, and they play important support roles in our lives and we do the same thing for them. This number varies but the average client has from three to five souls in their inner circle. Although the companion souls in a cluster group started together, they do have different rates of development. This has as much to do with drive and motivation as talent. Each soul does possess certain strengths that their companions can draw upon during group incarnations. As the group gets smaller, many go off into different specializations but they do not lose contact with each other.”

For example, I see many similarities between my husband and his three closest friends. They all seem to have had the same earthly struggles, have been tempted and tested in the same ways, and have the same passions, drives, and risk-taking personalities. I believe he is a part of that soul family group, and I am a part of another, but there is an overlap between where we meet, like in a Venn diagram. I also think that the learning that my husband has done in this lifetime might move him up and out of his soul group.

Though this definition is entirely my own, I divide these soulmates into two categories:
– Lessons from other soul groups
– Bonded connections from other soul groups (soul family-ish)

Our lessons from other soul groups are people who show up frequently in lifetimes, perhaps not consecutively, to help us, teach us a hard lesson, or help us at a certain stage of our lives and then dissipate from our future. They can be from more or less advanced soul groups, but they’re an important piece of our planned experience. You can end your karmic and energetic ties with lessons from other soul groups so that they no longer show up in future rebirths, but there is a familiar knowing there that you may want to continue when you get to the aether. I believe my former friend L is a lesson from another soul group who has shown face in numerous lives.

For example, a hard parent could be a lesson from another soul group. Newton writes of this, “When we are hurt by someone close to us in life, or caused them hurt resulting in alienation and separation, it is because they volunteered to teach us lessons of some sort while learning lessons themselves. These lessons better prepare both parties for future relationships, […] If you grew up with a particularly difficult parent, ask yourself this question: What did I learn at the hands of this person that has given me wisdom I would not possess if he or she had never been in my life?”

When we are bonded with other souls who are more or less advanced than us, they show up more frequently through our various incarnations and often take on the role of friends, teachers, siblings, or children. I believe my friend Nataskia is a bonded soulmate from another (more advanced) soul group.

Grandparents are often bonded soulmates (from other soul groups) with their grandchild, and I believe this with my grandmother Nives, as well. Newton writes, “Grandparents often have a great influence in our early lives as nonjudgmental confidants. I often find that a favorite grandparent in this life was a sibling or best friend in a former life. The social dynamics of intimate human contact are so powerful that in most of my cases the roles souls play in our lives and we in theirs directly bear on a group’s karmic lessons.” I also think my father is bonded to my son, and that influenced him receiving my father’s name as his middle name.

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AFFILIATED SOULS FROM OTHER SOUL GROUPS

I am using a term created by Dr. Michael Newton to describe this next section of souls. He uses Primary (instead of Divine), Companion (instead of Soul Family and Soulmates in other soul groups), and Affiliated to describe people who make appearances every few lifetimes and shake things up a little bit (or a lot). They are usually bringers of intense lessons and leave as quickly as they came. You may find exes (friends and lovers) fit this role, extended family members, family members or friends of your partner, teachers in our youth, or even childhood bullies. They don’t have an extensive soul importance for you (meaning you will likely not connect with them in the aether) but they are vital to an earthly lesson. You can absolutely cut all energetic and karmic ties with an affiliated soul, so you never need to have them show face in future rebirths.

Newton writes this of a client, “The psychological profiles of primary, companion and affiliated souls in a client’s current and past lives is very instructive when detailed in a genealogical-type chart. In each of the three past centuries we found another leading actor in Ruth’s lives who was from an affiliated soul group. This soul, known as Ortier, assumed roles involving jealous, unemotional and manipulative people. She was sent to test Ruth’s trusting nature so she would learn to recover more quickly from the hurt and deal with it in a healthy manner. While this same individual would also demonstrate good qualities in human temperament, the negatives were very constant. In Ruth’s current life, Ortier is her mother-in-law. In the life before, this soul played the role of a close friend who betrayed her. There is evidence the karmic cycles with Ortier assuming roles as a protagonist will end soon for Ruth.”

Even a long period spent with a partner who didn’t work out could be an affiliated soul, and it’s never time wasted. Newton writes, “Being with the “wrong” person for a period in your life does not mean that time was wasted. The relationship was probably intended in advance. In fact, you might see this soul again in the spirit world in a different light. This was true of the man my subject was forced to marry in her Indian life. His soul belonged to a neighboring group to Valerie’s own. The soul of both men Valerie loved in her past two lives is again united with her in the twentieth century as her husband. I should add that Linda, who is Valerie’s best girlfriend today and a member of her own soul group, was the eventual mate of the warrior she loved in the Cherokee Indian life. After our session, Valerie grinned while telling me, “Now I know why I have always been a little uneasy seeing Linda around my husband.”“

I believe I know who my (negative) affiliated soul is in this lifetime, but I won’t write it here.

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GUIDES AS SOULMATES

Our guides are truly our soulmates; they help us navigate all our learning when we are earthbound (through spiritual connection with a and truly help us reflect and become better when we transition to the aether. We have a primary guide always seem to be around and we have guides who show up for certain points in our lives and guides that are secondary but equally respected and valuable to our souls. Sometimes our guides can decide to spend an incarnation on earth for extra learning and their own spiritual advancement. These individuals are highly advanced souls who have broken the karmic need to return to earth as a human but have chosen to do so anyway.

I believe my spiritual advisor at Akasha’s Den, Carol, is a guide from the aether. I also believe my son is a guide from the aether.

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OTHER SOULS

We can have encounters, sometimes lengthy ones, with people who aren’t our soulmates, who aren’t in approximate soul groups with us, and who are not even at an affiliated status because they don’t have frequent appearances in our lifetimes. They can be positive or negative experiences, like a terrible relationship with a person that has you asking yourself, how could I waste so much time?, to a stranger on the street who gives you life advice and you never see them again. I believe you know that after these people have left your life that they were important for one reason or another with regards to learning and growth, and you know there was an agreement for your meeting, but that’s the last of them that you’ll see. They served a purpose, and both souls moved on. My ex S and my ex A both fit this bill (thanks and good riddance, enjoy your soul journey far away from mine), same with the tarot reader as a kid who told me my husband was on the other side of the planet.

While Newton would group these souls into affiliate souls, I find them to be in their own little pocketed place. Regardless, Newton writes, “A soul affiliate might have a specific characteristic that is exactly what is needed to bring a karmic lesson into your life. They are very likely to incarnate as people who carry strong positive or negative energy into their association with you. These decisions depend upon advance agreements between all parties and their respective teachers as to the benefits and disadvantages of certain character roles. The role can be very brief.”

TWIN FLAMES

Unpopular opinion time; I believe Twin Flames fit into the Other Souls category. I do not think they are someone you have a karmic history with. I do not believe they are your primary Divine soulmates. I do not even think you have soulmate ties with them. I think they appear to cause chaos, teach a very harsh lesson or lead you down a very diverse path of growth, and that’s the end of them. Twin Flames are never positive, and I do not understand the obsession around them. Stay far away from the person who flies in and sets you on fire with no regard for your safety.

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A COMMENT ON ANCESTRAL REINCARNATION

Despite what people may think, from my own personal experience working with clients, the likelihood that you are the reincarnated soul of your great aunt Agnus, or that you’re your grandfather reincarnated are really slim to none. I have never found this to be true, and it wouldn’t make sense, either; what lessons would you need to learn by reincarnating in the exact same family with the exact same dynamics? Even if you have unfinished business with a soul, you’re likely to wait until you both agree to come back again in another timeline.

This hunch was also confirmed by Newton. He writes, “As a rule, members of the same soul group do not return in their next incarnations as members of the same genetic human family. This means, contrary to American Indian tradition, a grandfather’s soul would typically not return to the body of his grandson. It is limiting and even redundant for souls who wish to learn fresh lessons to return to bodies having the same heredity, ethnicity, cultural environment, and perhaps the same geographic setting as they had in a former life. By incarnating in different families around the globe in each life, souls are able to take advantage of the great variety of human body choices. This variety is what gives depth to our incarnations on Earth. It is far more likely the soul would return to another family with peripheral associations to the family of their former life to redress a serious wrong. Nevertheless, this too would be a very unconventional decision, especially in cases of personal injury to the soul, because it smacks of revenge. Although souls typically do not incarnate in the same hereditary family they had in past lives, members of the same soul group most definitely choose new families where they can be together. Members of soul groups tend to be associated in each life by blood ties and geographic proximity.“

A COMMENT ON MEETING DIVINE SOULMATES “LATE”

I have had clients who have said they’re continuously unhappy in partnerships. Or, I’ve had clients who are married but have asked me whether there is someone else that they are meant to be with, or whether the person they suspect or have feelings towards might be their primary soulmate. I’ve had clients who have divorced and wondered about love again. We don’t all meet our Divine Soulmate with our first love or our first marriage. We don’t always choose the very best person for us. And it’s never “late” when it comes to finding them; this was all planned.

Had I met Jordan five, ten, fifteen years earlier, I can tell you that, firstly, I wouldn’t have been ready to handle him because I couldn’t even handle myself, and second, I wouldn’t have been attracted to him because of the lifestyle he was living and the immaturity he has shared with me from his youth. We met exactly when we were meant to. We needed to discover ourselves, our authenticity, and our joys separate and come together when our lessons made us ready for real love. When I met his friends, they all told me they didn’t recognize him at all anymore; he wouldn’t have transformed as he did if he wasn’t willing and able, and had I appeared on his side of the planet any earlier, he would not have been.

As I mentioned, sometimes our Divine Soulmates simply haven’t incarnated in this lifetime, and this obsession with trying to know and be with them is hindering us from having meaningful relationships and having mindful experiences in the present. Perhaps there are other lessons to learn, and one of them is being alone. At least for now.

Newton writes, “On the other hand, there may be reasons why we might not meet our primary soulmate until later in life. Soulmates will from time to time separate for a life or two and not appear at all. “My soulmate and I were becoming too dependent upon each other, we needed to grow a while on our own” is a statement I often hear when soulmates are apart. Every era on Earth is different as to the sort of attachment and experience we will have with a soulmate. However, each life with them builds upon former lives. We learn valuable lessons from broken relationships. The important thing is to move on in life. Some clients may tell me before their session that true love seems to elude them. After the session they usually understand the reasons behind this situation. If the right love for you does not come along, liberate yourself with the understanding that you may be here to learn other lessons. We mistakenly assume people who choose to live alone are lonely when actually they have rich lives that are calm, reflective and productive. Connecting with someone for whom you have no feelings just for the sake of not being alone is more lonely than being by yourself. As the song says, “Falling in love with love is falling for make-believe.” This kind of love is a fantasy because it’s driven by an addiction to have love at any price. If your soulmate is supposed to appear they will come into your life, often when you least expect it.”

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If You Made It This Far

Congratulations! This has been my longest piece yet. But I hope it has been informative and has you reflecting on the relationships in your life in a new light. Perhaps it will help you appreciate relationships you once regretted or maybe those you took for granted. Or maybe it will have you wondering about whether you have found/are with/have incarnated with your Divine Soulmate.

In the meantime, if you want to support my work, please , check out my books and journals. If you want to work with me as a spiritual healer and learn about your past lives with your soulmates, check out my services through Seeking Celestial Grace and Awakened Little Souls.

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xx C